“He grew and the Lord blessed him, and the Spirit of the Lord began to stir him…” Judges 13:24-25
These words from the book of Judges seem to be happening to me right now. Certainly these words are what I want to happen. I have definitely grown through this two year journey with brain cell cancer. In some ways I now function on a different level of relationship with life and with God. And there have been surprising blessings along the way.
Monday was the second anniversary of the day my doctor told me that statistically I had between 18 and 24 months to live. Later, because I was responding so well to chemotherapy, he told me that my chances of living significantly longer would go way up if I survived 2 years. Monday was 2 years.
I had an MRI on Monday, my first since stopping chemotherapy 6 weeks ago. It showed that the tumor remains as it has been for the last year, small and stable. My doctor was ecstatic. He prescribed vigorous aerobic exercise. That would have been unthinkable 2 years ago.
So I have grown. And the Lord who has been blessing me is still blessing me.
The words from Judges are about Samson, who is not one of my Bible heroes. I did not seek out the Samson story. But in honor of my mother, who read the entire Bible every year for at least 60 years, I have been following a plan to read through the whole Bible this year. And Monday’s Old Testament reading, on the 2 year anniversary of my diagnosis, was the Samson story.
The words from verses 24 & 25 will not leave me. They are a description of what I have experienced for 2 years, and a statement of what I want. I want the Spirit of the Lord to stir me. I want to be more finely tuned to the Spirit’s prompting. For my remaining days on earth, I want to experience what it is like for my soul to be stirred by God’s Spirit, and to respond. I want to do what the Spirit prescribes, and not just what my doctor prescribes.
I have already begun, and with something a little strange. In the Judges story, an angel tells Samson’s mother that he is never to drink wine. So I decided, almost on a whim, to stop drinking wine. I can’t say that God told me to stop; only that I felt like stirring something up in my life, and maybe the Spirit gave me the idea. Actually Jinny and I decided on New Year’s Day to give up almost all meat; also most wheat and dairy products. So perhaps the urge to stir things up in our lives began as 2013 began. And continued with the decision to stop chemotherapy. And appeared again about the wine.
I don’t know yet if I am giving up wine forever. On the night he was arrested, Jesus told his disciples “I will not drink this fruit of the vine again until I drink it new with you in the kingdom of heaven.” I am intrigued by that commitment, but not sure that is what the Spirit is stirring up in me. Time will tell.
Some of my friends would say that it is silly or puritanical or without usefulness to give up wine. But I have already discovered what may be the primary value of this decision. I decided on Monday morning, before my doctor’s appointment and MRI, forgetting that Monday evening my men’s book group would meet. We always finish our book discussion with a glass of wine. Forgoing the wine reminded me that I made the decision for a reason. I want the Spirit of the Lord to stir in me again and again.
I think that every time I am offered wine and decline I will silently remember my soul’s desire for the stirring of God’s Spirit in my life. I wonder what else God has in mind for the remainder of my days.
Wonderful news, Dale! So happy for you.
beautiful!
Wonderful news about the MRI!!! If these people in East Timor only had such a thing! Or perhaps an X-ray machine, better ultrasound, or CT even! We have has quite an experience in two weeks and have learned a lot. Stopping for 3 days in Tokyo and going to visit Beth Hadland who teaches there. Writing from Gio’s Donut and Coffee Shop so can catch up with the kids.
Rejoice and we rejoice with you — but I would like that glass of wine right now! Sincerely, ML
On Thursday, April 4, 2013, Breathtakingly SuckWorthy News: The Sewalls’ Journey with Bra
A song I have been listening to recently goes like this:
Sometimes all we have to hold on to
Is what we know is true of who You are
So when the heartache hits like a hurricane
That could never change who You are
And we trust in who You are
Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn’t come
Yahoo! Doing a happy dance for you both!! Sue
In Israel, we saw ibex scramble up sheer cliff faces. Our teacher suggested when things get really tough in our lives, that our prayer should not be to switch to an easier path. Instead, pray for God to change my feet, to give me the grace and courage to walk the path He has called me to. When I read your blog this morning, I thought about our lesson. “The God who girds me with strength and makes my way blameless, He makes my feet like hinds’ feet, and sets me upon my high places…..You enlarge my steps under me, and my feet have not slipped.” Ps 18:32,33,36 Dale, thank you for sharing your journey.
love, rachel
My Father in law had diabetes then he tried not to eat anything bad for him for so long and now, he is fine without that sickness and I think that is miracle. Your good health is my happiness and many many others’. Love you lots.
That is great news! We continue to pray for complete healing for you,and may we all desire and respond to the stirring of God’s Spirit in our lives.
Thank you Dale for the beautiful tribute to your Mom and the Bible’s perspective on heaven in an earlier post. Very meaningful to those of us with loved ones already there. Love to you and Jinny!